


Warmth

by NeapolitanGirls



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: And Cad is very patient, Consecuted AU (sort of), First Kiss, Fjord and Jester are FRIENDS, Fjord's stubborn, Fluff, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:06:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22336741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeapolitanGirls/pseuds/NeapolitanGirls
Summary: The first memory that came to Fjord was simply a color. Color and the smell of earth and growth. The pink was confusing. Not a lot of pink around him at the moment. The smell was a shock too since he’s spent most of his life smelling the salt and sea of Port Damali. They were nice changes and he found himself lingering whenever he walked past by the flower shops just to get that glimpse again.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 2
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

The first memory that came to Fjord was simply a color. Color and the smell of earth and growth. The pink was confusing. Not a lot of pink around him at the moment. The smell was a shock too since he’s spent most of his life smelling the salt and sea of Port Damali. They were nice changes and he found himself lingering whenever he walked past by the flower shops just to get that glimpse again. 

The second clear image was the warmth of the sun on his skin and a bitter taste in his mouth. It took a while to place it but he realized it was tea. Nothing like any tea he’s had before but it was warm and comforting. It wasn’t too sweet but that was even better for him. It felt like he was sitting under a tree with someone. The grass was under his hands and they smiled at him across their intertwined bodies.

Slowly over his years, he started remembering more. He wasn’t sure how to feel about his supposed soulmate. He couldn’t even imagine someone like those in his memory and he wasn’t even sure he deserved that warmth and kindness. He figured if there was one lifetime where they never met it might as well be this one. It would go along with how his life is going so far.

When he first met Jester his heart sank at the shock of pink on her dress. As they all started on the Mighty Nien’s travels he made sure to put a bit of distance between them. Then he noticed how different Jester’s warmth was compared to that sunshine of his memory. She smelled like sweets and perfume but nothing like the natural earth. She’s definitely someone he cares deeply for but she wasn’t them. He felt himself relax at the thought and from then on he pushed the worry out of his mind for now.

This little group he found had become important to him. He didn’t want anything to come between all of them and it made him feel like that little lost kid again. Tring his best to hold everything together in case anything started falling apart again. What happened in Shadycreek Run hit him harder than he would have admitted. If everything was going to fall apart it would probably be now.

And then he saw pink.

He was silent for a while. Determined to not acknowledge the increasing thump of his heart. He had just been through something awful perhaps he wasn’t thinking straight and that pink hair and beetle green armor meant nothing. It was just a coincidence like Jester’s dress. Still, on the off chance that it wasn’t, he made a note to stay clear of the tall firbolg in front of him.

“He makes dead people tea.”

“He makes What?” Well, just throw that out the window. No way this wasn’t a coincidence. He started noticing the fungus and growths coming out of what was left of their fight. Fungus and dead things certainly didn’t ring of that warmth.

Caduceus turned out to be pretty nice when he wasn’t saying weird strangely wise morbid things. Fjord got used to sharing a room and they started falling into as much of a routine as adventures could get. Sometimes Cad would say something and Fjord felt a tug at those memories but he just pushed them away. It wasn’t possible.

He stopped thinking about it entirely when all with what was happening with Ukutoa and the Wildmother started. The warmth of her was familiar and yet unlike anything he’d felt before. This was all so confusing and new. He had no time to think about how much stronger that warmth got when he took Cad’s hands when they communed with her.

He started having dreams. Warmer dreams. Dreams of flowers and a calm shoreline. They didn’t feel like the dreams were from anyone else which was a welcomed change. He was sure that these were his dreams; Dreams of his own volition. He didn’t remember any of his dreams before Ukatoa but these ones lingered more than any other. They featured that same warmth and kindness from his memories. His hand clasped in someone else’s and that pink from before. Every time he awoke from these dreams he found himself calmer than ever before. 

“Good sleep?” Caduceus was up for his watch while everyone else slept. It looked like he was making himself some night time tea.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? I would have joined you on the watch.” Fjord got up out of his bedroll and made his way over. 

“Wel,l like I said you looked like you were having a nice sleep. You can go back to it if you want. It doesn’t look like It will be a very eventful watch.” 

“No, you’re right. It was a nice sleep. So, nice I actually feel rested for once.” Cad smiled and finished making his cup.

“In that case would you like some tea?”

“Sure” As Caduceus got out another cup and started pouring that Fjord thought back to the calmness in his dreams. “Caddy, Do you remember much of your past lives?”

“Hm, oh, yeah. I can remember a lot of them actually.”

“Really? Are they clear or…”

“Some of them. The little bits that repeat are the clearest. I seem to have a knack for meeting a lot of the same people in all my lives.”

“Oh… Any of us?” Caduceus smiled that slow smile and handed him his cup. 

“Definitely.” Fjord nodded in response and sipped his tea. It was bitter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wildmother is tired...

There was wisteria hanging down around them. Purple flowers against the late-night shadows illuminated by a lantern sitting a little ways away from them. He felt a hand in his hair and words being said. He didn’t know what they were saying and honestly, it didn’t really matter. He was where he should be. He closed his eyes and just took it in until something crystal clear came through.

“You know you can let this happen if you want it.”

When he opened his eyes again everything was just a bit sharper. Instead of just the vague warmth of someone else, he could see them this time. Pink hair and lazy expression. 

“But what if…”

He didn’t even try and finish his question when he felt a warm kiss being pressed into his lips. He still felt the buzz under his lips when he woke up.

It was where he was supposed to be. He knew that and wanted it if he was being truthful to himself but he felt like he was bound to screw it up. If Caduceus knew whats to say he wouldn’t just say no. That he was just seeing something where it was nothing. No one has to follow who their past lives say is their soulmate. Maybe this one it just wasn’t meant to be.

He felt a chill come from the window of the inn they were staying in. He was still a bit new to this but it felt like her. He looked over at the other in the room. Cad was still asleep and was still snoring a bit. Then he looked back out the window and felt her answer to a question he didn’t ask. 

“Fine.” He whispered to the night. She was right. He was overthinking and just making excuses. He was still scared and unsure but he was trying to figure out this whole faith thing. He laid back down after taking one more glance over.

He would try.

In the morning they all gathered downstairs for breakfast and Fjord still felt a bit jittery. The rest of his night was dreamless but he could still picture the first clearly. When Caduceus came down he took his seat next to Fjord and yawned his good mornings. Fjord let himself notice the twitch of his ears and the dust of some freckles on grey skin. He blushed as soon as Cad turned to smile at him knowing he had been caught staring. Then he started busying himself with eating all of his breakfast.

“Fjord are you okay?” Jester asked from across the table.

“Yes, Jess. I’m fine.”

“You just seem a little out of it today. Are you sure?” Her eyes were full of concern and he smiled.

“Just a bit sleepy is all. Thanks.”

“Ooookay.” She eyed him up and down. Checking for the offending ‘offness’. “If you say so.” 

After breakfast, they had a whole free day in Nicodranas. At first, Fjord had just planned on staying behind in his room or going to find some supplies. Instead, he pulled Jester aside and asked if they could talk. They went up to his room.

“SOOOOOOO,” Jester excitedly waved at him to get on with what he wanted to say. Fjord took a deep breath and sat down on his bed.

“So,” He decided to look down at the ground instead of her excited eyes. “I wanted your advice on something. I don’t know how much you remember from your past lives but you know how some people say about all that soulmate stuff.”

“OH MY GOD! DID YOU MEET THEM!? WHO ARE THEY? FJORD, OH MY GOD!” Fjord took another deep breath and waited for her to get a bit calmer. He came to her because this seemed like something she’d know about and he trusted her. He had expected the usual Jesterness but didn’t quite expect this much. “Fjord! Oh my god, this is wonderful!! Tell me everything.”

He told her a bit about his memories and he could see that it didn’t take long for her to put two and two together. She let him continue though. 

“So, last night Melora kind of pushed me too… do something I guess. I don’t really know what to do about it though.”

“Pushed you how?”

“She just kind of… showed me. Like what could be I guess or maybe it was what was. I don’t know.” Jester nodded and sat down next to him and started taking something out of her bag.

“SO, you’ve known that Cad is your soulmate for a while now but have been denying your self all that because you think you’ll mess it up.” She then took out a little knapsack that had some pastries in it. She took one and handed it to him and then took one for herself. “But then the Wildmother got tired of all that and gave you a little kick.” She took a bite and then looked over at him.

“I- I guess.”

“And why aren’t you talking to Duces right now?”

“Wha- What do I even Say, Jester? I don’t know about all this stuff. I’ve been avoiding it all my life.” Fjord pouted and took a bite of the sweet. It was blueberry.

“The stories say you can’t outrun your soulmate Fjord. And you can’t just not tell Cad. He probably already knows anyway! He’s just waiting for you to tell him it’s okay.” 

“Okay for what?”

“Okaaay for you guys to do all that tea party and skinny dipping dates in the sunset you were talking about.”

“I didn’t say anything about skinny dipping.”

“It was definitely implied and anyway you two already act like your dating. So just go for it!!” Fjord almost choked.

“We do? When? What are you talking about?” Jester just rolled her eyes.

“Fjord you guys just sit and hold hands for hours.”

“That’s Wildmother stuff!”

“Is the little extra he puts on your plate every time he cooks for us for the Wildmother too?”

“He doesn’t- Well,”

“And don’t get me started on how many times I’ve seen you guys on watch together and you’re practically cuddling in the firelight.”

“We don’t- It’s cold, sometimes.” Fjord’s face was on fire as he just started stuffing the rest of the pastry in his mouth.

“You guys are so obvious. And now that I know you guys are soulmates it makes soooo much sense! I just thought you two were fucking.” If Fjord could get any redder he would. “But seriously, Fjord, You don’t have to be scared.”

“I’m no-” She gave him a look and he swallowed down his instinctive objection. “Yeah, okay.”

“Do you want help figuring out what to say!?”

“... Yes, that’d be- that would be helpful.” Jester squealed in excitement and started talking about how he’d ‘sweep Cad off his feet and carry him off to have amazing sex. After he ruled out any scenario that was close to something in Tusk Love she seemed a bit less excited but nevertheless more helpful.


	3. Chapter 3

Fjord found himself pacing back and forth in his room. He and Jester ended up making a day of their planning. They had gone out in search of a gift to go with his confession and ended up with a bouquet of wildflowers. He now stared at them biting his lip in worry. He tried going over what he had planned but now it all seemed a bit cheesy. I mean he did go to Jester for help so he shouldn’t be surprised but he couldn’t help the burn of anxiety spreading under his skin.

He took a deep breath and walked over to the flowers on the side table. They had got one that was mostly pinks and reds since Jester wanted him to get roses but he thought that might have been too much. He had settled on something with a similar color. They were very pretty and they smelled of some of the same stuff Cad uses in his teas. The florist had tied them together with a blue ribbon. He picked them up and held them up so he could smell them again and hoping that the Wildmother might help him out a bit here.

“Those are nice.” Fjord jumped out of his skin at the deep voice in the door. Uselessly trying to hide them behind his back, he turned to see the firbolg. Cad ducked under the small door frame and came in. “For someone special?”

“Y-yes! Uh… yeah.” All Fjord could hear was his heart hammering away as Caduceus went over to his bed and started taking off his jacket and putting it down. “Actually! Uh.”

Cad looked over at him and Fjord in a panic just kind of jutted his hands out with the flowers in hand. He turned his head down and braced himself.

“They are actually for you. So, yeah. I figured you’d like them because you know and um, I- well.” Fjord just kept stumbling over his words trying to remember what it was he wanted to say. Hours of thoughts just left in the span of a second.

“Fjord.” He looked up again. Cad had crossed the room and he softly took the flowers from him. “Thank you.” Fjord felt his face grow hot at the fond smile he gave him. “And If I may assume... that by this gift you have something to say?” Caduceus smelled the flowers and looked into his eyes. As nervous as those lilac eyes made him he also started feeling a bit more sure of himself.

“Yes. I um, Well, I’m sure you know most of this already but I haven’t really been honest with you. I recognized you a long time ago but I was afraid of what it might mean and so I just pushed it all away. The Wildmother is actually the only reason I’m even doing this. I just… I don’t wanna run away anymore.”

For a moment Cad just nodded in silence and then he took one of the flowers out of the bouquet and reached up to tuck it behind Fjord’s ear. He didn’t take his hand away after and just let it linger on his cheek. “Can I?”

“Yes.”

Their first kiss was chaste but sweet. Fjord felt a weight lift off his shoulders that he didn’t even realize was still there. Soft lips with a scratchy beard and a calming hand on his cheek. He almost felt like he was melting his face was so warm. Cad still held the flowers between them and all he could smell was the rich earth.

“Thank Melora.”

“Heh, you have no idea.”


End file.
